Omelet
Omelete is from "Lyle the Kindly Viking". Plot In the kingdom of Denmark, two servants (played by Jean Claude and Phillipe, respectively) approach the baker Horatio (played by Scooter) and explain to him that Prince Omelet requests his daily eggs cooked light and fluffy. Horatio tells them that he has the last eggs in the entire kingdom and is worried that the prince won't share his eggs with his starving people, but proceeds to cook the eggs anyway. Meanwhile, Omelette (played by Jimmy Gourd) laments about the trouble of his country running out of eggs and that his people are starving. Horatio then approaches Omelet, bringing him his eggs cooked light and fluffy, before telling him that they're the last eggs in the kingdom. Omelet then says, "Alas, poor yolks, I'll chew them well, Horatio." After Horatio leaves, Omelette then makes note that Ophelia has come, but off-stage, Mr. Lunt, dressed in drag, does not want to do it because it's embarrassing. Archibald tells him that in Shakespeare's day, all the women's roles were played by men, before pushing Mr. Lunt on-stage. Ophelia (played by Mr. Lunt) explains to Omelet that the people of Denmark are starving and that there aren't enough eggs to go around while he feasts on eggs everyday. When Ophelia suggests to Omelet that he share his eggs with the people, Omelet is outraged, saying that if he does, then he won't have any, before Ophelia tells him that God likes it when we share our blessings before leaving. After Ophelia leaves, Omelette then performs a spoof of the famous "To Be Or Not To Be" speech, asking whether or not he should share his eggs. A young lad (played by Percy Pea) then shows up while playing a game of battleship, and asks Omelette to play with him, which Omelet agrees to. The young lad then notices Omelet's plate of eggs and asks if he would try a bite. At first, Omelette is hesitant, but he finally permits the young lad to try his eggs. Once the young lad takes a bite, Omelet realizes that he just shared and that it feels pretty good, before the young lad tells him that the things we do for others usually make us feel good as well. Because of this generous act that he just committed, Omelet gathers everyone in the town square and announces to everyone that he has decided to share his eggs with everyone. Horatio then tells Omelette that there aren't enough eggs to go around before Polonius (played by Jerry Gourd) asks Omelet where they could find these eggs. Omelet answers, "You know, they're the little white round things that come out of chickens," which shocks Polonius, saying that he thought that they were ping-pong balls, before cutting to a ping-pong table that is messy with eggs. Omelet then proclaims for everyone to have eggs cooked light and fluffy. This gives Horatio an idea, deciding to name these light and fluffy eggs after Omelette, calling it the "Omelet". Ophelia then asks Omelet where to get some toast, and Omelet answers, "Get thee to a bakery!" After the play ends, Larry the Cucumber and Junior Asparagus are in the audience, asking each other if they understood what any of the players said. Transcript * Jerry: Oh boy! Am I hungry! Me thinks I shall go into yon café for a bite. * Horatio: Forsooth! What wilt it be, yon weary traveler? * Jerry: What? Oh. I'm starving! How about an egg sandwich? * Horatio: So sorry am I, but our larder hath run dry of the victuals of your request. * Jerry: Huh? * Horatio: No egg sandwiches today. * Jerry: Oh. Then how about an egg salad? * Horatio: (shaking his head) Sorry. * Jerry: Egg custard? * Horatio: No. * Jerry: Egg soufflé? * Horatio: All gone. * Jerry: Egg roll? * Horatio: Nyet. * Jerry: Eggs benedict? * Horatio: Nope. * Jerry: Egg foo yung? * Horatio: Uh-uh. * Jerry: Egg bar-b-que? * Horatio: Nada. * Jerry: Could we hurry this up. I'm late for a ping pong game. * JEAN CLAUDE and PHILLIPE enter. * Jean Claude: His majesty, the troubled Prince Omelet request his daily eggs! * Phillipe: Cooked light and fluffy! * Horatio: Coming right up! * Jerry: Hey! What about me? * Horatio: Sorry, too late. Bye-bye. (Horatio pushes Jerry out, then turns to Jean Claude. He holds up a cardboard prop of a half empty carton of eggs.) Doth not the troubled Prince know that these are the last eggs in the entire kingdom? * Jean Claude: But of course! Why do you think he is troubled! * Horatio: Will the prince not share his eggs with his starving people? * Phillipe: Perhaps he'll think about that over lunch. * Horatio: The prince's eggs coming up. * Omelet: Woe is me. I am troubled. Alas, forsooth the country is rapidly running out of eggs. The people are starving and I am helpless to help them! What shall I do? What shall I do? What will become of my kingdom? Ah-ha! Something's cooking in the state of Denmark! * Horatio: Your eggs, Prince Omelet. Cooked light and fluffy. The last eggs in the kingdom. * Omelet: The last poor yolks...I'll chew them well, Horatio. * Omelet: But soft. It is Ophelia. But soft. It is Ophelia. * Cut to the curtain area ARCHIBALD is pushing MR. LUNT in a dress and wig onto the stage. * Ophelia: But I don't want to do it! It's embarrassing! * Archibald: Don't be ridiculous. It's tradition. In Shakespeare's day (ugh), all the women's rolls were played by men. * Ophelia: I think we're gonna get letters about this. It is I... the fair Ophelia. It wasn't my idea. * Omelet: Uhh... Pray thee, what news, fair Ophelia? I beseech thee m'Lady. * Ophelia: Oh m'Lord. I come with disparaging news! * Omelet: More bad news! But I'm troubled enough as it is! * Ophelia: The people m'Lord. They are starving. There are not enough eggs for them. Meanwhile you feast on eggs every day, cooked light and fluffy. 'Tis rottenness that has beset our fair kingdom. * Omelet: And on top of that my eggs are getting cold! * Ophelia: Oh my troubled prince, I beseech and implore thee. Please share, share your eggs with the people. * Omelet: Share my eggs? Share my eggs? Then I won't have any. What are you thinking fair Ophelia? * Ophelia: Simply this. God says He likes it when we share our blessings. Good-bye. Can I take this off now? * We're gonna get letter for this. * Omelet stands in this quandary. The lights fade except for a single spot on Omelet. He contemplates his painting and his dinner. * Omelet: To eat or not to eat. That is the question. Whether tis nobler to share my eggs cooked light and fluffy or to scarf down the whole thing myself. And to take tums against a sea of indigestion. To eat, perchance to get a tummy ache! Aye, there's the rub. To share or not to share. Um... maybe I should ask my mother. * (He exits behind the backdrop taking his eggs with him. Another backdrop is unfurled. It is a castle hallway. Percy Pea is pushed in. He plays Battleship alone. Omelet enters from the opposite side which he exited. As he hops past Percy his attention is diverted to the pea. He stops to watch.) * Omelet: Whatcha doin' there, young lad? * Percy: Just playing, your highness. * Omelet: Looks like fun. * Percy: Oh, it is M'Lord. * Omelet: Uhhhh... Are you just gonna keep playing like that.... alone? * Percy: I don't know. (pause) Would you like to share my game? * Omelet: Sure! Playing's the thing! * Percy: Great. Just guess where you think my ships are! * Omelet: Oh, okay. 2-B? * Percy: Not 2-B. * Omelet: Drat. Your turn. * Percy: Hey, what's that? * Omelet: Oh, that would be mine eggs, cooked light and fluffy. * Percy: It lookests quite yummy. Might I try a bite? * Omelet: Ummm... I don't know...Ummm... Sure you can. Hey! * Percy: What? * Omelet: Methinks I just shared with you didn't I? * Percy: Me thinks you did. * Omelet: Hmmm... sharing. Ya know, that wasnt' so bad. Actually, it felt pretty good! * Percy: Ya see, the things God wants us to do for others usually make us feel good, too! (Ophelia's voice echoes in. They look around confused.) * Ophelia: God likes it when we share our blessings. * Jean Claude: You called, your highness? * Archibald (O.S.): No. Not yet! * Jean Claude: My mistake! * Omelet: Oh, Servant! * Jean Claude: You called, your highness? * Omelet: Ah, Yes. Call everybody together. I have an announcement to make. * Jean Claude: Mai oui, your highness. * (Jimmy, Horatio, "Ophelia" (wig askew), and the peas enter along with several other cardboard cut-out people.) * Omelet: Good people of denmark. I have decided to share my eggs with you. * All: Yeah! Yeah! * The cardboard people dance from a string. * Omelet: Because God like it when we share our blessings. * All: Yeah! Yeah! * Horatio: But Sire, there aren't enough eggs to go around. * Omelet: Then first, I must search my kingdom high and low for enough eggs to feed everybody! * Crowd: Yeah! Yeah! * Jerry: Where do you find these eggs anyway? * Omelet: You know, they're the little white round things that come out of chickens. * Jerry: What? We thought those were ping pong balls! We got plenty of those! We wondered why they didn't work. * Omelet: Eggs cooked light and fluffy for everybody! * Crowd: Yeah! (Cheers) * Horatio: I have an idea! Why don't we name these light and fluffy eggs after our beloved prince? I give you the omelette! * All: (Cheers) * Ophelia: Hey boss, where could I find some toast? * Omelet: Get thee to a bakery! * Larry: Did you understand any of that? * Junior: Not a word. Category:VHS